The Path of the Homemaker

When we think of the image of a spiritual life, we often imagine a monk, cloistered in a monastery, giving up wordly things, not worrying where the next meal is coming from and being extremely devoted and disciplined.

Many of us often dream of a time when we can acheive this level of detachment from this physical realm. I too often found myself wishing I could retreat to a cave and surrender myself to whirling like a Dervish in devotion even if just for a while. Being a busy young mum, a wife, a daughter and fully invovled in my work I often felt that somehow I was always falling short. I felt I could never acheive the bliss of true connection with the Divine. There was always a distraction, an obstacle to overcome or an interference that prevented me from revelling in pure deep nirvana.

As life went on I came to realise that although the path of the monk or dervish seemed, on the face of it, to be the most spiritual route through life, my path was that of the Homemaker.

As Ramadan comes around again, I am reminded of that period when things can get overwhelming for those of us on the Path of the Homemaker. It is so easy to become distracted in trying to juggle the needs of everyone around us, but it is so important not to feel disheartened and to make a conscious intentional decision to use our everyday life as the training ground for our spiritual practice.

Life as a Training Ground

The life of the monk, the sage, the scholar is a difficult life and brings so much beauty to this world and inspiration to others, enhancing communities and bringing comfort to the broken. But so to the Path of the Homemaker is its own special unique path, with its own special blessings and struggles and deep,deep lessons. In a sense the Path of the Homemaker is harder because we are struggling to deepen our spiritual maturity in the midst of all the grit, the chaos, the push and pull of all the things that tug at our attention, the obligations that we truly need to care about.

Everyday life is the training ground – the career, the children, your intimate partnership, the extended family issues – all these are part of the spritual elevation if you choose to let them be. The tasks we see as mundane become the opportunities to embody the attributes of Allah. Every moment of the day becomes a gift to display our compassion, mercy, justice, creativity, truth, guidance, gentleness and so on.

Think about for example of life with a child. Everyday with a child brings its own unique beauty and challenges. Humility, compassion, flexibilty, resiliance and creativity emerge out of working around the challenges like making sure your child feels loved, cared for, safe and providing everything they need to flourish as spiritual beings themselves.

Think about your occupation that allows you to sustain and care for yourself and provide for your family. You can bring your spiritual work to work. Use breath practice when dealing with clients, enabling you to be fully present, listening wholeheartedly. You can make sure that people feel safe in your shop/office, and that they feel invited in, you can create a beautiful environment, you can offer them tea and provide beyond their expectations. You can make them feel at home. You can help bring out the best in them and cheer them along in their day just by bringing your own spiritual depth into your work.

Finding Time

And of course, throughout the chaos of every day, you will have to learn to find time to do the practices, the self-reflection, the contemplation that you crave to do on your spiritual path. You must find ways to make that a priority while meeting your other obligations. And you can find ways to find joy in that and savour every moment whether you are playing games with your child and loving their humanness, or holding hands with your partner in life and finding peace in that simple act. And you can dive into activities of art and poetry, writing and movement in nature that are often seen as frivilous but are in fact your moments of connection with your Lord.

All this sounds obvious and simple and so it is. Any yet it evades us until we make it an intentional choice. There are so many names of Allah and everyday we get to find and live them.

Warm Salaams

Afsha